Women in their thirties who appear to "have it all" compared with previous generations are in fact exhausted and unhappy, a survey has claimed.
The demands of being a homemaker, mother and holding down a job is leaving them "physically and emotionally" wrecked.
Lack of sleep and eating "on the hoof" rather than sitting down to regular family meals add to the problems of trying to do too much.
Nearly half of female thirtysomethings - typified by Renee Zellweger in Bridget Jones's Diary - regularly call in sick at work because they are under so much stress, the study found.
The Female Health Survey revealed that women find the 30s by far the toughest decade.
Nearly nine out of 10 said they frequently feel tired, with 59% saying they feel tired all the time, and only a quarter get enough sleep.
Eight out of 10 of women said they do not have enough time to eat properly, while 31% admitted that they snack all the time.
The result is that women in their thirties and forties regularly suffer from headaches, chest infections, heart palpitations or eczema.
Marina Crook, the editor of Top Sante magazine, which commissioned the survey, was unsurprised by the results.
"Tiredness and stress are the ailments of our age and combined with a poor diet they cause low immunity and ill-health," she said.
And she warns that the problems continue into later life, with working lives lasting longer than ever before.
"Our thirties and forties are so hectic, that by the time we reach our fifties, sixties and seventies - the time we should be more freed up to enjoy life - our health has already been seriously affected."
Article Coutesy : Sky News
Saturday, August 25, 2007
Thursday, August 16, 2007
Dating and Relationship Tips For Men
A woman enjoys her man’s masculinity – his inner strength.
To feel this strength a woman tests her man whether you have just begun dating or have been in a relationship for a while. Some of it is conscious, some unconscious, but all of it is to see if she can move you from your center and make you feel frustrated. She does this so she can feel how confident and strong you are. If you maintain your sense of humor and your affection then you have shown that your moods can not be manipulated by her behavior. A feminine woman loves feeling this sort of strength in her man.
Many men don’t have a clue that women naturally test them. So they assume that the woman testing them is nuts or just plain not interested. That couldn’t be further from the truth. The very fact that she’s testing you, by trying to bother you, shows she cares!
The next thing to be aware of concerning the woman you’re dating, is her moods. A woman’s main priority is the flow of love in a relationship. When she doesn’t feel love her moods seem to change quickly. While she is angry or irritated the words she uses is either designed to hurt or take control. As long as there is no love flowing. There is not point in paying attention to her words. The words are important only as foar as they reflect her mood.
Your first task whether you are dating or in a relationship is to break her negative mood with love or humor. When her laughs or smiles and the love and affection is present in her mood only then do her words have direct meaning.
Most men try to make peace with the woman they are dating by trying to solve the problems represented by her words this will be ineffective as her words are essentially designed to express her mood. More often than not her words will have nothing to do with the actual problem.
All you need to do to dissolve her mood is to make her laugh.
If you have just began dating than you use verbal humor or you can make a fool of yourself. If the intimacy is deeper (than it generally is at the beginning of dating) then you can grab her and blow on her neck making funny sounds, or dance with her looking deep into her eyes, or even strip down naked and start dancing! As long as you can break her mood with laughter and affection she will balance herself. THEN you can talk to her and her words will be true and you can take these words seriously.
In other words, be sure that love is flowing between you two before you take her words seriously.
Article Courtesy : http://dating-and-seduction-tips.blogspot.com
To feel this strength a woman tests her man whether you have just begun dating or have been in a relationship for a while. Some of it is conscious, some unconscious, but all of it is to see if she can move you from your center and make you feel frustrated. She does this so she can feel how confident and strong you are. If you maintain your sense of humor and your affection then you have shown that your moods can not be manipulated by her behavior. A feminine woman loves feeling this sort of strength in her man.
Many men don’t have a clue that women naturally test them. So they assume that the woman testing them is nuts or just plain not interested. That couldn’t be further from the truth. The very fact that she’s testing you, by trying to bother you, shows she cares!
The next thing to be aware of concerning the woman you’re dating, is her moods. A woman’s main priority is the flow of love in a relationship. When she doesn’t feel love her moods seem to change quickly. While she is angry or irritated the words she uses is either designed to hurt or take control. As long as there is no love flowing. There is not point in paying attention to her words. The words are important only as foar as they reflect her mood.
Your first task whether you are dating or in a relationship is to break her negative mood with love or humor. When her laughs or smiles and the love and affection is present in her mood only then do her words have direct meaning.
Most men try to make peace with the woman they are dating by trying to solve the problems represented by her words this will be ineffective as her words are essentially designed to express her mood. More often than not her words will have nothing to do with the actual problem.
All you need to do to dissolve her mood is to make her laugh.
If you have just began dating than you use verbal humor or you can make a fool of yourself. If the intimacy is deeper (than it generally is at the beginning of dating) then you can grab her and blow on her neck making funny sounds, or dance with her looking deep into her eyes, or even strip down naked and start dancing! As long as you can break her mood with laughter and affection she will balance herself. THEN you can talk to her and her words will be true and you can take these words seriously.
In other words, be sure that love is flowing between you two before you take her words seriously.
Article Courtesy : http://dating-and-seduction-tips.blogspot.com
Saturday, August 4, 2007
Privacy in online dating
Since dating sites utilize technology that allows impersonal communication, people who engage in online dating could enjoy their privacy.
Many dating sites are certified and claim that they can easily safeguard the member's information against harmful elements, from viruses to prohibited users. Members can be rest assured that confidential data about themselves like their real identity, contact details, and present whereabouts cannot be instantly viewed by other people.
Likewise, this privacy feature also benefits the part of the person looking for a date in that his or her identity is also kept private or anonymous, as he or she browses through the profiles of chosen date candidates. To initiate a conversation with a date prospect, the person simply has to gain access by becoming a member and formally invite the prospect to a correspondence. Once the communication begins and endures, it is up to either or both persons to discern whether or not to unveil their true personalities. But showing real identities is not normally a prerequisite of dating sites and that feature makes it the biggest advantage of these sites.
Since the internet has a wide reach, spanning regions across the planet, the possibility of finding a match through dating sites is huge. The wide coverage of these sites, considering that they are not virtually selective of their members, offers numerous options for the regular female to look for her date, for example. Options are better than none, and in a way, this could be both an advantage and a disadvantage for some sides.
For people who are actively seeking for their date and browsing through the profiles in dating sites, having options means that there are more prospects out there to fall back on, just in case the primary choice does not work out. Of course, the selection process could be more lengthy and tedious, but in the end, surely, active date seekers are taking this more as an advantage than as a disadvantage.
As for people who are looking for dates yet would rather be content having their profiles posted online in dating sites, more options mean more competition. As such, they would need to enhance their profiles by posting more interesting and perhaps, sexy photos or use deliberately captivating (or exaggerated) content to make their profiles more appealing.
Speaking of content, dating sites also allow the application of various technological resources people now have within their reach. With these, members can opt to have their pictures and photos displayed in the site. They can also use a web camera or webcam to produce real-time appearances and moving introductions to other people visiting the site. For men and women who value creativity and innovation, the utilization of visual effects, particularly text enhancement and graphic design tools, are helpful in bringing out their true nature and hopefully, would add their attractiveness to their prospects. In more ways than one, these technologies encourage a sincere environment where members are free to tell others information about himself or herself and are honest enough to communicate with one another until they are ready to date.
Although the notion that dating sites are expensive is arguable to some, they definitely provide a more immediate and convenient venue for meeting date prospects compared to physical locations. Online dating enables the date searcher to hook up with as many people as he or she wants at the same time for just a certain amount, if applicable and depending on the conditions of the site.
This function serves as an aid, not just in initiating a conversation with the desired person, but also in developing an actual relationship with that individual. People who are shy in person might in fact be considered good talkers and listeners, if not already experts in breaking the ice, in the cyberspace realm. This may be attributed to their practice of communicating with a multitude of people in an instant or in the shortest time possible, hence their conversational skills are being continuously developed as they hunt for their dates.
Since the internet is available all the time, people who get involved in online dating can contact their prospects 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Thus, the talking and the sharing of ideas and interests can be conducted even in the wee hours of the morning. Although the internet is an immediate medium for communication, people are not pressured into dealing with their date prospects because there is no given time frame for meeting and getting together. They can easily send or receive emails and instant message each other any time of the day. In short, access and all-time connectivity is never a question when it comes to online dating.
As mentioned previously, dating sites basically know no limits when it comes to the personalities, gender, and culture of people who join them. These sites are open to anyone who is willing to experience a unique kind of dating and interaction. Some dating sites have restrictions when it comes to age, but other than that, these sites make its members conscious of the differences as well as similarities of one another. In a way, dating sites go beyond taboos because they enable certain demographies to stretch their abilities and show what they might otherwise deny in person.
For example, some women may find dating sites to be liberating and empowering because through these sites, they are able to muster enough courage to ask men out for dates, whereas in real life, they just sit and wait for their Prince Charming to gallop by and take them away. Like in the case of men, dating sites also lessen the humiliating experience for women when their partners say “no” to them. Also, some women who may not be confident enough to merely meet new friends or people out of their circles may find dating sites also rewarding because the reach of these sites go beyond racial and cultural borders. Women also need not worry about whatever inhibitions they may have in person because the people they meet would not primarily take into account what they look like, which is one of the things their male prospects normally put a bearing on.
Many dating sites are certified and claim that they can easily safeguard the member's information against harmful elements, from viruses to prohibited users. Members can be rest assured that confidential data about themselves like their real identity, contact details, and present whereabouts cannot be instantly viewed by other people.
Likewise, this privacy feature also benefits the part of the person looking for a date in that his or her identity is also kept private or anonymous, as he or she browses through the profiles of chosen date candidates. To initiate a conversation with a date prospect, the person simply has to gain access by becoming a member and formally invite the prospect to a correspondence. Once the communication begins and endures, it is up to either or both persons to discern whether or not to unveil their true personalities. But showing real identities is not normally a prerequisite of dating sites and that feature makes it the biggest advantage of these sites.
Since the internet has a wide reach, spanning regions across the planet, the possibility of finding a match through dating sites is huge. The wide coverage of these sites, considering that they are not virtually selective of their members, offers numerous options for the regular female to look for her date, for example. Options are better than none, and in a way, this could be both an advantage and a disadvantage for some sides.
For people who are actively seeking for their date and browsing through the profiles in dating sites, having options means that there are more prospects out there to fall back on, just in case the primary choice does not work out. Of course, the selection process could be more lengthy and tedious, but in the end, surely, active date seekers are taking this more as an advantage than as a disadvantage.
As for people who are looking for dates yet would rather be content having their profiles posted online in dating sites, more options mean more competition. As such, they would need to enhance their profiles by posting more interesting and perhaps, sexy photos or use deliberately captivating (or exaggerated) content to make their profiles more appealing.
Speaking of content, dating sites also allow the application of various technological resources people now have within their reach. With these, members can opt to have their pictures and photos displayed in the site. They can also use a web camera or webcam to produce real-time appearances and moving introductions to other people visiting the site. For men and women who value creativity and innovation, the utilization of visual effects, particularly text enhancement and graphic design tools, are helpful in bringing out their true nature and hopefully, would add their attractiveness to their prospects. In more ways than one, these technologies encourage a sincere environment where members are free to tell others information about himself or herself and are honest enough to communicate with one another until they are ready to date.
Although the notion that dating sites are expensive is arguable to some, they definitely provide a more immediate and convenient venue for meeting date prospects compared to physical locations. Online dating enables the date searcher to hook up with as many people as he or she wants at the same time for just a certain amount, if applicable and depending on the conditions of the site.
This function serves as an aid, not just in initiating a conversation with the desired person, but also in developing an actual relationship with that individual. People who are shy in person might in fact be considered good talkers and listeners, if not already experts in breaking the ice, in the cyberspace realm. This may be attributed to their practice of communicating with a multitude of people in an instant or in the shortest time possible, hence their conversational skills are being continuously developed as they hunt for their dates.
Since the internet is available all the time, people who get involved in online dating can contact their prospects 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Thus, the talking and the sharing of ideas and interests can be conducted even in the wee hours of the morning. Although the internet is an immediate medium for communication, people are not pressured into dealing with their date prospects because there is no given time frame for meeting and getting together. They can easily send or receive emails and instant message each other any time of the day. In short, access and all-time connectivity is never a question when it comes to online dating.
As mentioned previously, dating sites basically know no limits when it comes to the personalities, gender, and culture of people who join them. These sites are open to anyone who is willing to experience a unique kind of dating and interaction. Some dating sites have restrictions when it comes to age, but other than that, these sites make its members conscious of the differences as well as similarities of one another. In a way, dating sites go beyond taboos because they enable certain demographies to stretch their abilities and show what they might otherwise deny in person.
For example, some women may find dating sites to be liberating and empowering because through these sites, they are able to muster enough courage to ask men out for dates, whereas in real life, they just sit and wait for their Prince Charming to gallop by and take them away. Like in the case of men, dating sites also lessen the humiliating experience for women when their partners say “no” to them. Also, some women who may not be confident enough to merely meet new friends or people out of their circles may find dating sites also rewarding because the reach of these sites go beyond racial and cultural borders. Women also need not worry about whatever inhibitions they may have in person because the people they meet would not primarily take into account what they look like, which is one of the things their male prospects normally put a bearing on.
Monday, July 30, 2007
Outsourcing And The Desi Dream
When Gautam had come to US to do his Masters in Computer Science he had the standard immigrant dream - dollars, a house, two cars and two kids. Well not quite. Sure he wanted all these things but what he wanted most of all was to live his fantasy nurtured through years of watching MTV and Channel V. In his dreams, life in US was a never-ending hedonistic pleasure-trip of bikini-clad girls dancing on the beach and partying the night away in a psychedelically lit disco. And so the day he got admission into graduate school in US he thought that the gateway to heaven had finally opened.
However the educational system brought him back to reality with harsh lashings of its whip. He found out soon enough that the only thing he could play around with was the Linux kernel, the only promiscuous mode he would ever see would be in computer networks.
Infact, he and a couple of his friends took the campus bus and went to a bar to pick up some chicks. All that happened was that they sat there, drank alone, stared at each other, ogled the ladies who did not seem to even look at them through their cascading locks of gold and came back even more frustrated than before.
His friends still went to bars regularly; one of them even took the phone number of a girl he danced with on New Year's but well that was all they could do. Gautam after the few days had stopped frequenting bars and pubs as there was no way he could ever get noticed. Sadly, he realized that when it comes to hitting on chicks in bars, it does matter if you are brown.
And so Gautam stayed in a loft with 2 other desis while the American students downstairs would start partying from Thursday night he had to be contented with peering down at the girls making out with the guys on the porch and listening to the cries of passion emanating through the thin wooden walls while he ate his vegetable chow mein from his small white bowl.
He had tried chatting with girls on the Net but he could not trust anything on chat as it was obvious that the girls who wanted to talk hot were not really girls at all. And the girls, the very few that there were, would be immensely boring and trying to make a friendship of the long term variety - something that Gautam did not have the time for.
I mean after nights of endless coding he reasoned that talking about his family, his hobbies and his zodiac sign was a waste of effort when all he wanted was to get down to business.
One night he had returned from school at 2:30. The code had core-dumped without any explanation, his advisor was breathing down his neck, and the Chinese TA had put a B on an assignment unfairly. A night like any other night he thought as Gautam threw his head back on the torn couch and tried to collect his thoughts. His apartment mates Ajay and Vikas had gone shopping in the evening and God knows where they were so late maybe sleeping.
In a reflex action, he started surfing the channels on his TV - was there anything good on?
All infomercials, the fat burning grille, the get-rich-by-selling-real-estate, the amazingly loaded laptop that will be sold out in 10 minutes - Nothing new and then something caught his eye.
Are you tired? asked a blonde and that too a gorgeous piece of work.
Yes he was Gautam thought. Most definitely.
She was then joined by another bountiful babe who pouted: Are you lonely?
Oh Yes, tell me about it.
Another brunette with a generous display piped in: We are waiting for your call big boy.
Then a voice-over said encouragingly: We have real girls in your area who want to meet you and have a good time. Call 1-900-HOTTIES to blow your mind.
A cut to the three girls now slithering among themselves: What are you waiting for? Call 1-900-HOTTIES
The phone lay on the adjoining couch. Gautam looked at it longingly. Was this the real way to meet local girls? Of course not, this is a phone sex line; he knew all about them. He flipped the channel again - a Discovery channel special on the mating habits of the Siberian bear. Why not give it a try ?
What if the girls from his university were doing it for money? What if something happens and at the worst, there would be a real girl talking dirty on the other side - just the perfect arrangement. No aggravation of conversation, just jump to the good parts, no threat of rejection, total confidentiality and he realized that the rate on the ad was $1.49 per minute. Besides, it said that the first 3 minutes were also free. If he kept it down to 10 minutes then it could be a deal.
He had just been paid and come to thinks of it he owed something to himself.
He hesitated a bit and then his hand reached out to the phone. An automated husky voice greeted him and asked him to punch in his credit card number. Gautam thought again should he go ahead?
If he did so, there was no turning back. But it is said that one who hesitates, definitely loses. So he punched in his MasterCard. A reassuring voice told him that his card was being authorized and that he would not be charged till 3 minutes into a conversation with a real girl. Gautam liked the sound of that-nothing sleazy, full and fair business. In India sleaze means getting ripped off but here in US there is honor in smut. One of the many things he liked about the country.
A real female voice came on: Hi sir how would you like to be addressed?
Gautam asked: Am I being charged from now?
The friendly voice replied: No sir not yet. I am the pleasure facilitator (what a beautiful job Gautam thought). My job is to know a little bit about what you would like so that we can give you a fantastic experience. Yes sir how would you like to be addressed? Just the first name only sir.
Gautam thought of providing a false identity...but then he wanted to be addressed by his own name. It was more personal and heck who would ever know? But then again from his experiences in the bars he thought better of it and replied in his best American accent (which was pretty good)
Bob
So Bob! What kind of girl would you like: Swedish exchange-student, Japanese schoolgirl, Russian dominatrix, Vietnamese submissive, all-American cheerleader or an ebony pleasure-queen?
Wow Gautam thought-a buffet of succulent ladies. He thought for a while and said: How about an all-American cheerleader?
Sure Bob. We aim to please at 1-900-HOTTIES. Please wait why we redirect our call to your dream date. Your 3 minutes begin after she picks up the phone. Again congratulation on your choice...and enjoy
Gautam waited with bated breath. This sure beats the hell out of hanging endlessly in places where none even looked back at you. Instant, hassle-free gratification. In a few seconds he would be speaking to an All-American cheerleader
Click...and then an undecipherable voice...apparently a unmistakable Southern accent...Gautam could only make out a howdy partner and the rest of her words were lost in a mumble. Gautam in his American accent kept on repeating... Could you please try and speak a bit louder? But he could make neither head nor tail of what the girl was drawling. And in the corner of his brain the clock was ticking - the free minutes would be over in a flash and he had not yet understood what the hell she was trying to say.
And then straining to hear he could make out the background sound...despite the very thick Texan accent there was something very familiar with the ambient noise which was also contributing to her voice being drowned out. And finally he realized that sound; the unmistakable drone of heavy traffic and riotous blowing of horns. In which country are horns blown like this?
India! The penny dropped. The cheats had transferred his call to India! Texan beauty indeed... Gautam's voice rose - Has his call been Outsourced to India?
The voice at the other end immediately changed. A beautiful voice spoke in clear English: I apologise sir, but yes, your call has been outsourced to India.
Actually to keep operating costs down, the company has had to globalize these calls. Sir this is just a fantasy-I hope you understand, our parent company, has no legal obligation to provide you with the all-American girl you asked for. I apologize for my accent: I normally do the Japanese and the Vietnamese girl, but the girl who does the all-American cheerleader has just quit her job and I apologise profusely on behalf of the company
She continued with an amazingly sexy voice...However truth be told I am from India - the land of Kamasutra where the girls are as lush as the mighty Ganga and know how to please - I can be quite a handful. So tell me sir have you ever heard of the “flying monkey” position? Allow me to enlighten you in graphic details!
Gautam's indignation had been replaced by sympathy. Poor Indian girl must be some college kid forced to do this because of financial constraints. Which Indian girl would ever do such things on her own? And the teary voice of the girl had aroused the man in Gautam - poor lady. It was not her fault that the Texas girl quit. If this was an American he would abuse the poor Indian and hang up. But not Gautam. Even though he wanted to settle in US, he still loved his country. And its girls. And something about this girl's helplessness also excited him. He wondered why.
Gautam put on his best chivalrous knight tone. Reverting to his own accent he said: Hi I am Gautam not Bob. I am an Indian student too so you need not tell me about the Kamasutra - I live by it (well a white lie but as she said this was all a fantasy!).
The girl laughed a beautiful cadence - This girl really had an amazingly sexy voice.
She said: Hi Gautam, I am Monica and am all excited to meet you...Now, if I may ask you, where abouts in India do you come from?
Gautam glanced at the watch. Goddamn this was costing him plenty and they had not even talked a bit of what he had paid for. But he liked this-actually this conversation was much more exciting than a few minutes of mechanized huffing and puffing that he would have hoped to get.
Baroda, he replied.
Hey Baroda - that's cool I am from Baroda too, her voice rose a level. They have found a common ground, a connection source. You must be one of those geniuses who go to US after their engineering. Gautam smiled self-contentedly.
Gautam then launched into a rant about how lonely he was. At least that would serve as a justification for dialing a sex chat line. The girl was more than understanding about Gautam's loneliness. So don't you have a girl friend there? Some hot blonde in US who can look after your needs?
Gautam sighed. Of course not, or why else would he be calling here?
Well no Monica. I prefer brown skin - fairness turns me off.
The musical voice cooed. So Gautam do you have any girl friend in India?
Gautam was feeling exceedingly honest. Somewhere subconsciously he was falling in lust with this goddess of love. And he needed to start this relationship by making a clean breast of things
No Monica I do not. There was a girl in my locality I used to love and lust.
Monica giggled: Tell me about her.
Gautam was breathing noticeably heavier now. Oh god he thought, this lady knew how to press the right buttons. He then launched into a lurid description of a girl who lived in the same housing society and whom he had spent countless nights thinking about and was soon lost in explicit details of her anatomical attributes. Gautam thought of how delectably perverted this conversation had become but what amazed him was how accepting and understanding this Indian girl was. It was another matter that he was doing All the hot talking, the girl was merely encouraging him to go on and in the end he would have to foot the bill. Which Gautam realized must be quite high now. But he was no longer thinking with his head.
Wow Gautam. Your dream girl seems to be right out of the Khajuraho temple so is she the only one?
Gautam was talking in an impassioned whisper by now. She had an even hotter elder sister I have often fantasized about both of them together
The girl giggled again: So what were their names? And tell me about the fantasies involving both of them? Shweta and Anila - Well there was this one time when... The girl's tone changed a bit: Shweta and Anila Gupta
Was this one of them? Gautam's head was now turning cartwheels. Could it really be that one of the two goddesses was actually a phone sex operator? And that he had been talking dirty to one of those unattainable fairies for so long? Gautam excitedly replied: Yes, yes, do you know them?
Suddenly the line became silent. Had he been disconnected or had the girl been so ashamed of being found out that she had disconnected? Oh no! please no! as he yelled...Hello! Hello! Are you there?
The voice had now undergone a metamorphosis. Bastard...she shouted...I know you... You are that pot bellied idiot who used to stay in No 24 and would try to peek into our house...Go tell your dirty ideas to your own sister you bastard...Shameless idiot..One more thought about the two of them, I shall gouge out your hungry eyes and feed them to the crows and twist your little thingie out and leave it among the green chillies to dry... You got that! Scumbag?
Your parents sent you to US to study and this is how you spend your time there - Shameless Monkey.
A click of the telephone disconnecting and another automated voice... Thank you for using 1-900-HOTTIES. Your credit card has been charged $98.78 including call time, tax and state surcharges. Thank you once again and we hope to do business with you in the future.
Ninety Nine Dollars - that was almost what he spent on a month's grocery. But cash was the last thing on Gautam's mind as he sat on the couch- His head in his hands. He had recognized the voice that had berated him in the end. It was Kokila Aunty, the mother of Shweta and Anila, roly-poly and the local gossip server who offered Pujas three times a day. Now how on earth could she be a sex-phone operator? Well evidently she was and Gautam had just spent $98.78 unloading his fantasies onto a lady pushing the wrong side of 50 and if that was not bad enough, his reputation in the housing colony was toast.
He knew very well that if ladies like Kokila Aunty wanted to take down a reputation she could do that effectively without getting herself scorched. He remembered the case of an uncle, an old bachelor who he found nice enough but who was whispered to be a gay pedophile. Now the rumor mill had a new goat on the block - Gautam the local pervert. How was he ever going to return? With his hands shaking he reached for his laptop. So much code still needed to be written. At least no one here in US knew of this, that was the only saving grace.
Dude.....Gautam looked up and his apartment mates were standing in the corridor. Ajay was doubled up on the ground laughing and Vikas was staring at Gautam his mouth agape.
And then it suddenly came to him. They had been to Wal-Mart’s that evening and bought an extension handset.
Suddenly everything went blank and he knew he had been taken for a ride
However the educational system brought him back to reality with harsh lashings of its whip. He found out soon enough that the only thing he could play around with was the Linux kernel, the only promiscuous mode he would ever see would be in computer networks.
Infact, he and a couple of his friends took the campus bus and went to a bar to pick up some chicks. All that happened was that they sat there, drank alone, stared at each other, ogled the ladies who did not seem to even look at them through their cascading locks of gold and came back even more frustrated than before.
His friends still went to bars regularly; one of them even took the phone number of a girl he danced with on New Year's but well that was all they could do. Gautam after the few days had stopped frequenting bars and pubs as there was no way he could ever get noticed. Sadly, he realized that when it comes to hitting on chicks in bars, it does matter if you are brown.
And so Gautam stayed in a loft with 2 other desis while the American students downstairs would start partying from Thursday night he had to be contented with peering down at the girls making out with the guys on the porch and listening to the cries of passion emanating through the thin wooden walls while he ate his vegetable chow mein from his small white bowl.
He had tried chatting with girls on the Net but he could not trust anything on chat as it was obvious that the girls who wanted to talk hot were not really girls at all. And the girls, the very few that there were, would be immensely boring and trying to make a friendship of the long term variety - something that Gautam did not have the time for.
I mean after nights of endless coding he reasoned that talking about his family, his hobbies and his zodiac sign was a waste of effort when all he wanted was to get down to business.
One night he had returned from school at 2:30. The code had core-dumped without any explanation, his advisor was breathing down his neck, and the Chinese TA had put a B on an assignment unfairly. A night like any other night he thought as Gautam threw his head back on the torn couch and tried to collect his thoughts. His apartment mates Ajay and Vikas had gone shopping in the evening and God knows where they were so late maybe sleeping.
In a reflex action, he started surfing the channels on his TV - was there anything good on?
All infomercials, the fat burning grille, the get-rich-by-selling-real-estate, the amazingly loaded laptop that will be sold out in 10 minutes - Nothing new and then something caught his eye.
Are you tired? asked a blonde and that too a gorgeous piece of work.
Yes he was Gautam thought. Most definitely.
She was then joined by another bountiful babe who pouted: Are you lonely?
Oh Yes, tell me about it.
Another brunette with a generous display piped in: We are waiting for your call big boy.
Then a voice-over said encouragingly: We have real girls in your area who want to meet you and have a good time. Call 1-900-HOTTIES to blow your mind.
A cut to the three girls now slithering among themselves: What are you waiting for? Call 1-900-HOTTIES
The phone lay on the adjoining couch. Gautam looked at it longingly. Was this the real way to meet local girls? Of course not, this is a phone sex line; he knew all about them. He flipped the channel again - a Discovery channel special on the mating habits of the Siberian bear. Why not give it a try ?
What if the girls from his university were doing it for money? What if something happens and at the worst, there would be a real girl talking dirty on the other side - just the perfect arrangement. No aggravation of conversation, just jump to the good parts, no threat of rejection, total confidentiality and he realized that the rate on the ad was $1.49 per minute. Besides, it said that the first 3 minutes were also free. If he kept it down to 10 minutes then it could be a deal.
He had just been paid and come to thinks of it he owed something to himself.
He hesitated a bit and then his hand reached out to the phone. An automated husky voice greeted him and asked him to punch in his credit card number. Gautam thought again should he go ahead?
If he did so, there was no turning back. But it is said that one who hesitates, definitely loses. So he punched in his MasterCard. A reassuring voice told him that his card was being authorized and that he would not be charged till 3 minutes into a conversation with a real girl. Gautam liked the sound of that-nothing sleazy, full and fair business. In India sleaze means getting ripped off but here in US there is honor in smut. One of the many things he liked about the country.
A real female voice came on: Hi sir how would you like to be addressed?
Gautam asked: Am I being charged from now?
The friendly voice replied: No sir not yet. I am the pleasure facilitator (what a beautiful job Gautam thought). My job is to know a little bit about what you would like so that we can give you a fantastic experience. Yes sir how would you like to be addressed? Just the first name only sir.
Gautam thought of providing a false identity...but then he wanted to be addressed by his own name. It was more personal and heck who would ever know? But then again from his experiences in the bars he thought better of it and replied in his best American accent (which was pretty good)
Bob
So Bob! What kind of girl would you like: Swedish exchange-student, Japanese schoolgirl, Russian dominatrix, Vietnamese submissive, all-American cheerleader or an ebony pleasure-queen?
Wow Gautam thought-a buffet of succulent ladies. He thought for a while and said: How about an all-American cheerleader?
Sure Bob. We aim to please at 1-900-HOTTIES. Please wait why we redirect our call to your dream date. Your 3 minutes begin after she picks up the phone. Again congratulation on your choice...and enjoy
Gautam waited with bated breath. This sure beats the hell out of hanging endlessly in places where none even looked back at you. Instant, hassle-free gratification. In a few seconds he would be speaking to an All-American cheerleader
Click...and then an undecipherable voice...apparently a unmistakable Southern accent...Gautam could only make out a howdy partner and the rest of her words were lost in a mumble. Gautam in his American accent kept on repeating... Could you please try and speak a bit louder? But he could make neither head nor tail of what the girl was drawling. And in the corner of his brain the clock was ticking - the free minutes would be over in a flash and he had not yet understood what the hell she was trying to say.
And then straining to hear he could make out the background sound...despite the very thick Texan accent there was something very familiar with the ambient noise which was also contributing to her voice being drowned out. And finally he realized that sound; the unmistakable drone of heavy traffic and riotous blowing of horns. In which country are horns blown like this?
India! The penny dropped. The cheats had transferred his call to India! Texan beauty indeed... Gautam's voice rose - Has his call been Outsourced to India?
The voice at the other end immediately changed. A beautiful voice spoke in clear English: I apologise sir, but yes, your call has been outsourced to India.
Actually to keep operating costs down, the company has had to globalize these calls. Sir this is just a fantasy-I hope you understand, our parent company, has no legal obligation to provide you with the all-American girl you asked for. I apologize for my accent: I normally do the Japanese and the Vietnamese girl, but the girl who does the all-American cheerleader has just quit her job and I apologise profusely on behalf of the company
She continued with an amazingly sexy voice...However truth be told I am from India - the land of Kamasutra where the girls are as lush as the mighty Ganga and know how to please - I can be quite a handful. So tell me sir have you ever heard of the “flying monkey” position? Allow me to enlighten you in graphic details!
Gautam's indignation had been replaced by sympathy. Poor Indian girl must be some college kid forced to do this because of financial constraints. Which Indian girl would ever do such things on her own? And the teary voice of the girl had aroused the man in Gautam - poor lady. It was not her fault that the Texas girl quit. If this was an American he would abuse the poor Indian and hang up. But not Gautam. Even though he wanted to settle in US, he still loved his country. And its girls. And something about this girl's helplessness also excited him. He wondered why.
Gautam put on his best chivalrous knight tone. Reverting to his own accent he said: Hi I am Gautam not Bob. I am an Indian student too so you need not tell me about the Kamasutra - I live by it (well a white lie but as she said this was all a fantasy!).
The girl laughed a beautiful cadence - This girl really had an amazingly sexy voice.
She said: Hi Gautam, I am Monica and am all excited to meet you...Now, if I may ask you, where abouts in India do you come from?
Gautam glanced at the watch. Goddamn this was costing him plenty and they had not even talked a bit of what he had paid for. But he liked this-actually this conversation was much more exciting than a few minutes of mechanized huffing and puffing that he would have hoped to get.
Baroda, he replied.
Hey Baroda - that's cool I am from Baroda too, her voice rose a level. They have found a common ground, a connection source. You must be one of those geniuses who go to US after their engineering. Gautam smiled self-contentedly.
Gautam then launched into a rant about how lonely he was. At least that would serve as a justification for dialing a sex chat line. The girl was more than understanding about Gautam's loneliness. So don't you have a girl friend there? Some hot blonde in US who can look after your needs?
Gautam sighed. Of course not, or why else would he be calling here?
Well no Monica. I prefer brown skin - fairness turns me off.
The musical voice cooed. So Gautam do you have any girl friend in India?
Gautam was feeling exceedingly honest. Somewhere subconsciously he was falling in lust with this goddess of love. And he needed to start this relationship by making a clean breast of things
No Monica I do not. There was a girl in my locality I used to love and lust.
Monica giggled: Tell me about her.
Gautam was breathing noticeably heavier now. Oh god he thought, this lady knew how to press the right buttons. He then launched into a lurid description of a girl who lived in the same housing society and whom he had spent countless nights thinking about and was soon lost in explicit details of her anatomical attributes. Gautam thought of how delectably perverted this conversation had become but what amazed him was how accepting and understanding this Indian girl was. It was another matter that he was doing All the hot talking, the girl was merely encouraging him to go on and in the end he would have to foot the bill. Which Gautam realized must be quite high now. But he was no longer thinking with his head.
Wow Gautam. Your dream girl seems to be right out of the Khajuraho temple so is she the only one?
Gautam was talking in an impassioned whisper by now. She had an even hotter elder sister I have often fantasized about both of them together
The girl giggled again: So what were their names? And tell me about the fantasies involving both of them? Shweta and Anila - Well there was this one time when... The girl's tone changed a bit: Shweta and Anila Gupta
Was this one of them? Gautam's head was now turning cartwheels. Could it really be that one of the two goddesses was actually a phone sex operator? And that he had been talking dirty to one of those unattainable fairies for so long? Gautam excitedly replied: Yes, yes, do you know them?
Suddenly the line became silent. Had he been disconnected or had the girl been so ashamed of being found out that she had disconnected? Oh no! please no! as he yelled...Hello! Hello! Are you there?
The voice had now undergone a metamorphosis. Bastard...she shouted...I know you... You are that pot bellied idiot who used to stay in No 24 and would try to peek into our house...Go tell your dirty ideas to your own sister you bastard...Shameless idiot..One more thought about the two of them, I shall gouge out your hungry eyes and feed them to the crows and twist your little thingie out and leave it among the green chillies to dry... You got that! Scumbag?
Your parents sent you to US to study and this is how you spend your time there - Shameless Monkey.
A click of the telephone disconnecting and another automated voice... Thank you for using 1-900-HOTTIES. Your credit card has been charged $98.78 including call time, tax and state surcharges. Thank you once again and we hope to do business with you in the future.
Ninety Nine Dollars - that was almost what he spent on a month's grocery. But cash was the last thing on Gautam's mind as he sat on the couch- His head in his hands. He had recognized the voice that had berated him in the end. It was Kokila Aunty, the mother of Shweta and Anila, roly-poly and the local gossip server who offered Pujas three times a day. Now how on earth could she be a sex-phone operator? Well evidently she was and Gautam had just spent $98.78 unloading his fantasies onto a lady pushing the wrong side of 50 and if that was not bad enough, his reputation in the housing colony was toast.
He knew very well that if ladies like Kokila Aunty wanted to take down a reputation she could do that effectively without getting herself scorched. He remembered the case of an uncle, an old bachelor who he found nice enough but who was whispered to be a gay pedophile. Now the rumor mill had a new goat on the block - Gautam the local pervert. How was he ever going to return? With his hands shaking he reached for his laptop. So much code still needed to be written. At least no one here in US knew of this, that was the only saving grace.
Dude.....Gautam looked up and his apartment mates were standing in the corridor. Ajay was doubled up on the ground laughing and Vikas was staring at Gautam his mouth agape.
And then it suddenly came to him. They had been to Wal-Mart’s that evening and bought an extension handset.
Suddenly everything went blank and he knew he had been taken for a ride
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
How to Be a Jerk and Succeed Wildly With Women
Have you ever seen a guy who acts like a jerk but still manages to go home with beautiful women?
Well these guys know a secret which you can learn a lot from.
What they know is that many women are attracted to men who successfully combine being a jerk with having a humorous personality.
Often called "negging" or "cocky-funny", the idea behind this attitude is to act slightly arrogant while displaying intelligence and funny traits. It works because you are letting women know that you are confident while humorous enough to be desired.
If done correctly, this an incredibly powerful technique that makes girl instantly attracted to you. Here is how you can be the "funny/jerk" that women want...
First you should always remember to balance the attitude of a jerk while remaining funny. By acting too arrogant, you'll end up repulsing women instead of attracting them. On the other hand, if you spend the whole time cracking jokes you'll end up looking like a clown. Your goal is to carefully combine both attitudes and create the perfect "funny/jerk" personality.
So how do you go about becoming a funny/jerk?
To become a funny/jerk, it's important to create a certain attitude during your entire conversation with a woman. Your goal is to never making her completely comfortable when you are talking to her. This means you should tease her behavior or comments, and make her work for YOUR attention.
It works like this:
Whenever she says anything to you or asks a question, you come back with a comment that is funny, while slightly mocking her.
For instance, if a girl asks your name, you tell her that you can't reveal it, out of fear of her stalking you.
What you want to do is constantly use humor to catch her off guard. Anything she says should be responded to in a funny, slightly arrogant manner. Furthermore, try to implement a bit of sexual innuendo into your comments.
To create a successful "funny/jerk" attitude, need to work on altering your behavior in conversations with women. You can do this by sitting down and thinking of everything that a woman will typically say during a conversation. Then work on creating witty responses to the standard topics that often come up. Your focus is to create different statements that will catch her off guard while putting you in a position of dominance. The best lines will be ones that are humorous and slightly negative.
These principle behind the "funny/jerk" works because you are creating value for yourself to women you encounter. By being a little arrogant, you are letting her know that you are confident in yourself and that she'll have to work to get your attention.
My final piece of advice is to practice, practice, practice!
Creating a "funny/jerk" attitude is all about knowing what to say in each situation. At first, it may seem to go against the common thought of being "the nice guy" towards women. So in order to implement this attitude, you need to practice with women as much as possible.
When I say practice with women, I mean you need to try to take advantage of every situation where you are talking to a girl. Even if you don't want to pick them up, it's important that you use interactions with women to practice your comments and learn how to judge their responses.
Simply by practicing at all times, you'll learn the fine art of being a "funny/jerk". As a result, you'll discover that your interactions with women will improve and you'll end up going home with more women.
About the Author
Scott Patterson is a master at meeting, approaching, and attracting women.
To find out how you can pick-up ANY woman in 7 simple steps, check out his free ecourse
Well these guys know a secret which you can learn a lot from.
What they know is that many women are attracted to men who successfully combine being a jerk with having a humorous personality.
Often called "negging" or "cocky-funny", the idea behind this attitude is to act slightly arrogant while displaying intelligence and funny traits. It works because you are letting women know that you are confident while humorous enough to be desired.
If done correctly, this an incredibly powerful technique that makes girl instantly attracted to you. Here is how you can be the "funny/jerk" that women want...
First you should always remember to balance the attitude of a jerk while remaining funny. By acting too arrogant, you'll end up repulsing women instead of attracting them. On the other hand, if you spend the whole time cracking jokes you'll end up looking like a clown. Your goal is to carefully combine both attitudes and create the perfect "funny/jerk" personality.
So how do you go about becoming a funny/jerk?
To become a funny/jerk, it's important to create a certain attitude during your entire conversation with a woman. Your goal is to never making her completely comfortable when you are talking to her. This means you should tease her behavior or comments, and make her work for YOUR attention.
It works like this:
Whenever she says anything to you or asks a question, you come back with a comment that is funny, while slightly mocking her.
For instance, if a girl asks your name, you tell her that you can't reveal it, out of fear of her stalking you.
What you want to do is constantly use humor to catch her off guard. Anything she says should be responded to in a funny, slightly arrogant manner. Furthermore, try to implement a bit of sexual innuendo into your comments.
To create a successful "funny/jerk" attitude, need to work on altering your behavior in conversations with women. You can do this by sitting down and thinking of everything that a woman will typically say during a conversation. Then work on creating witty responses to the standard topics that often come up. Your focus is to create different statements that will catch her off guard while putting you in a position of dominance. The best lines will be ones that are humorous and slightly negative.
These principle behind the "funny/jerk" works because you are creating value for yourself to women you encounter. By being a little arrogant, you are letting her know that you are confident in yourself and that she'll have to work to get your attention.
My final piece of advice is to practice, practice, practice!
Creating a "funny/jerk" attitude is all about knowing what to say in each situation. At first, it may seem to go against the common thought of being "the nice guy" towards women. So in order to implement this attitude, you need to practice with women as much as possible.
When I say practice with women, I mean you need to try to take advantage of every situation where you are talking to a girl. Even if you don't want to pick them up, it's important that you use interactions with women to practice your comments and learn how to judge their responses.
Simply by practicing at all times, you'll learn the fine art of being a "funny/jerk". As a result, you'll discover that your interactions with women will improve and you'll end up going home with more women.
About the Author
Scott Patterson is a master at meeting, approaching, and attracting women.
To find out how you can pick-up ANY woman in 7 simple steps, check out his free ecourse
Monday, July 23, 2007
Do's and Don'ts on a First Date
The first date is a critical moment in any relationship.
You want to put your best foot forward and make a good impression. In fact, you want that so bad that your jitters and nervousness can derail your attempts to impress that date. Never fear, though, because if you follow the advice in this article, you are bound to make the best impression possible. If the girl or guy doesn't want to date you again, it might just be that you really aren't suited for each other. If this is the case, there isn't any point in wanting it to continue anyway, right? So here are some do's and don'ts that should smooth the way.
Do plan an actual date, such as a movie, concert, or dinner. Have an entertaining evening all planned out instead of just getting together to see what happens. You can always go to plan B later if things are going good.
Do be clean, well groomed, and appropriately dressed for the event.
Do be on time. Tardiness shows a great lack of respect for that other person. Likewise, showing up an hour early because you just can't wait puts pressure on them because they are probably not ready.
Do be decisive about the restaurant or other places you will go, but remain flexible. If you chose a steakhouse, but didn't realize your date was into vegetarian fare, it would be a kind gesture to change the plans to visit a restaurant more suitable to her tastes. Generally speaking, however, someone needs to be willing to make the decisions. Nothing is a bigger waste of time than two people batting a restaurant choice around.
Do take a little time to think up some things to talk about if you are both naturally quiet people. Most people like to answer questions about themselves. Try not to just ask a list of yes or no questions though, as though you are interrogating them. Ask questions that require more of an answer. Ask about his or her hobbies, interests, and ideas.
Don't, however, openly argue with your date's ideas. If you can tell that you are worlds apart in philosophy or religion, it might me a good idea to just enjoy the entertainment and find someone else to ask out the next time.
Don't spend your date doing something self-centered. For instance, if you go to an arcade, let your date play the games, too. Don't sit and talk on the cell phone or do business while you're together either. Your date should have your undivided attention.
Don't make them feel ogled or watched, however. If you find them extremely desirable, try to restrain yourself. Don't put them on the defensive. Give them time to get to know you, and they might find you equally desirable.
Finally, don't give up before you have given yourself and your date a fair chance. Remember that he or she is nervous, too. Don't get impatient about either pushing the relationship or giving up on it. Give it a chance to grow on its own.
About the Author
For more personal growth articles visit: http://www.personalgrowthunlimited.com
You want to put your best foot forward and make a good impression. In fact, you want that so bad that your jitters and nervousness can derail your attempts to impress that date. Never fear, though, because if you follow the advice in this article, you are bound to make the best impression possible. If the girl or guy doesn't want to date you again, it might just be that you really aren't suited for each other. If this is the case, there isn't any point in wanting it to continue anyway, right? So here are some do's and don'ts that should smooth the way.
Do plan an actual date, such as a movie, concert, or dinner. Have an entertaining evening all planned out instead of just getting together to see what happens. You can always go to plan B later if things are going good.
Do be clean, well groomed, and appropriately dressed for the event.
Do be on time. Tardiness shows a great lack of respect for that other person. Likewise, showing up an hour early because you just can't wait puts pressure on them because they are probably not ready.
Do be decisive about the restaurant or other places you will go, but remain flexible. If you chose a steakhouse, but didn't realize your date was into vegetarian fare, it would be a kind gesture to change the plans to visit a restaurant more suitable to her tastes. Generally speaking, however, someone needs to be willing to make the decisions. Nothing is a bigger waste of time than two people batting a restaurant choice around.
Do take a little time to think up some things to talk about if you are both naturally quiet people. Most people like to answer questions about themselves. Try not to just ask a list of yes or no questions though, as though you are interrogating them. Ask questions that require more of an answer. Ask about his or her hobbies, interests, and ideas.
Don't, however, openly argue with your date's ideas. If you can tell that you are worlds apart in philosophy or religion, it might me a good idea to just enjoy the entertainment and find someone else to ask out the next time.
Don't spend your date doing something self-centered. For instance, if you go to an arcade, let your date play the games, too. Don't sit and talk on the cell phone or do business while you're together either. Your date should have your undivided attention.
Don't make them feel ogled or watched, however. If you find them extremely desirable, try to restrain yourself. Don't put them on the defensive. Give them time to get to know you, and they might find you equally desirable.
Finally, don't give up before you have given yourself and your date a fair chance. Remember that he or she is nervous, too. Don't get impatient about either pushing the relationship or giving up on it. Give it a chance to grow on its own.
About the Author
For more personal growth articles visit: http://www.personalgrowthunlimited.com
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