Outsourcing And The Desi Dream

When Gautam had come to US to do his Masters in Computer Science he had the standard immigrant dream - dollars, a house, two cars and two kids. Well not quite. Sure he wanted all these things but what he wanted most of all was to live his fantasy nurtured through years of watching MTV and Channel V. In his dreams, life in US was a never-ending hedonistic pleasure-trip of bikini-clad girls dancing on the beach and partying the night away in a psychedelically lit disco. And so the day he got admission into graduate school in US he thought that the gateway to heaven had finally opened.

However the educational system brought him back to reality with harsh lashings of its whip. He found out soon enough that the only thing he could play around with was the Linux kernel, the only promiscuous mode he would ever see would be in computer networks.

Infact, he and a couple of his friends took the campus bus and went to a bar to pick up some chicks. All that happened was that they sat there, drank alone, stared at each other, ogled the ladies who did not seem to even look at them through their cascading locks of gold and came back even more frustrated than before.

His friends still went to bars regularly; one of them even took the phone number of a girl he danced with on New Year's but well that was all they could do. Gautam after the few days had stopped frequenting bars and pubs as there was no way he could ever get noticed. Sadly, he realized that when it comes to hitting on chicks in bars, it does matter if you are brown.

And so Gautam stayed in a loft with 2 other desis while the American students downstairs would start partying from Thursday night he had to be contented with peering down at the girls making out with the guys on the porch and listening to the cries of passion emanating through the thin wooden walls while he ate his vegetable chow mein from his small white bowl.

He had tried chatting with girls on the Net but he could not trust anything on chat as it was obvious that the girls who wanted to talk hot were not really girls at all. And the girls, the very few that there were, would be immensely boring and trying to make a friendship of the long term variety - something that Gautam did not have the time for.

I mean after nights of endless coding he reasoned that talking about his family, his hobbies and his zodiac sign was a waste of effort when all he wanted was to get down to business.

One night he had returned from school at 2:30. The code had core-dumped without any explanation, his advisor was breathing down his neck, and the Chinese TA had put a B on an assignment unfairly. A night like any other night he thought as Gautam threw his head back on the torn couch and tried to collect his thoughts. His apartment mates Ajay and Vikas had gone shopping in the evening and God knows where they were so late maybe sleeping.

In a reflex action, he started surfing the channels on his TV - was there anything good on?

All infomercials, the fat burning grille, the get-rich-by-selling-real-estate, the amazingly loaded laptop that will be sold out in 10 minutes - Nothing new and then something caught his eye.

Are you tired? asked a blonde and that too a gorgeous piece of work.

Yes he was Gautam thought. Most definitely.

She was then joined by another bountiful babe who pouted: Are you lonely?

Oh Yes, tell me about it.

Another brunette with a generous display piped in: We are waiting for your call big boy.

Then a voice-over said encouragingly: We have real girls in your area who want to meet you and have a good time. Call 1-900-HOTTIES to blow your mind.

A cut to the three girls now slithering among themselves: What are you waiting for? Call 1-900-HOTTIES

The phone lay on the adjoining couch. Gautam looked at it longingly. Was this the real way to meet local girls? Of course not, this is a phone sex line; he knew all about them. He flipped the channel again - a Discovery channel special on the mating habits of the Siberian bear. Why not give it a try ?

What if the girls from his university were doing it for money? What if something happens and at the worst, there would be a real girl talking dirty on the other side - just the perfect arrangement. No aggravation of conversation, just jump to the good parts, no threat of rejection, total confidentiality and he realized that the rate on the ad was $1.49 per minute. Besides, it said that the first 3 minutes were also free. If he kept it down to 10 minutes then it could be a deal.

He had just been paid and come to thinks of it he owed something to himself.

He hesitated a bit and then his hand reached out to the phone. An automated husky voice greeted him and asked him to punch in his credit card number. Gautam thought again should he go ahead?

If he did so, there was no turning back. But it is said that one who hesitates, definitely loses. So he punched in his MasterCard. A reassuring voice told him that his card was being authorized and that he would not be charged till 3 minutes into a conversation with a real girl. Gautam liked the sound of that-nothing sleazy, full and fair business. In India sleaze means getting ripped off but here in US there is honor in smut. One of the many things he liked about the country.

A real female voice came on: Hi sir how would you like to be addressed?

Gautam asked: Am I being charged from now?

The friendly voice replied: No sir not yet. I am the pleasure facilitator (what a beautiful job Gautam thought). My job is to know a little bit about what you would like so that we can give you a fantastic experience. Yes sir how would you like to be addressed? Just the first name only sir.

Gautam thought of providing a false identity...but then he wanted to be addressed by his own name. It was more personal and heck who would ever know? But then again from his experiences in the bars he thought better of it and replied in his best American accent (which was pretty good)

Bob

So Bob! What kind of girl would you like: Swedish exchange-student, Japanese schoolgirl, Russian dominatrix, Vietnamese submissive, all-American cheerleader or an ebony pleasure-queen?

Wow Gautam thought-a buffet of succulent ladies. He thought for a while and said: How about an all-American cheerleader?

Sure Bob. We aim to please at 1-900-HOTTIES. Please wait why we redirect our call to your dream date. Your 3 minutes begin after she picks up the phone. Again congratulation on your choice...and enjoy

Gautam waited with bated breath. This sure beats the hell out of hanging endlessly in places where none even looked back at you. Instant, hassle-free gratification. In a few seconds he would be speaking to an All-American cheerleader

Click...and then an undecipherable voice...apparently a unmistakable Southern accent...Gautam could only make out a howdy partner and the rest of her words were lost in a mumble. Gautam in his American accent kept on repeating... Could you please try and speak a bit louder? But he could make neither head nor tail of what the girl was drawling. And in the corner of his brain the clock was ticking - the free minutes would be over in a flash and he had not yet understood what the hell she was trying to say.

And then straining to hear he could make out the background sound...despite the very thick Texan accent there was something very familiar with the ambient noise which was also contributing to her voice being drowned out. And finally he realized that sound; the unmistakable drone of heavy traffic and riotous blowing of horns. In which country are horns blown like this?

India! The penny dropped. The cheats had transferred his call to India! Texan beauty indeed... Gautam's voice rose - Has his call been Outsourced to India?

The voice at the other end immediately changed. A beautiful voice spoke in clear English: I apologise sir, but yes, your call has been outsourced to India.

Actually to keep operating costs down, the company has had to globalize these calls. Sir this is just a fantasy-I hope you understand, our parent company, has no legal obligation to provide you with the all-American girl you asked for. I apologize for my accent: I normally do the Japanese and the Vietnamese girl, but the girl who does the all-American cheerleader has just quit her job and I apologise profusely on behalf of the company

She continued with an amazingly sexy voice...However truth be told I am from India - the land of Kamasutra where the girls are as lush as the mighty Ganga and know how to please - I can be quite a handful. So tell me sir have you ever heard of the “flying monkey” position? Allow me to enlighten you in graphic details!

Gautam's indignation had been replaced by sympathy. Poor Indian girl must be some college kid forced to do this because of financial constraints. Which Indian girl would ever do such things on her own? And the teary voice of the girl had aroused the man in Gautam - poor lady. It was not her fault that the Texas girl quit. If this was an American he would abuse the poor Indian and hang up. But not Gautam. Even though he wanted to settle in US, he still loved his country. And its girls. And something about this girl's helplessness also excited him. He wondered why.

Gautam put on his best chivalrous knight tone. Reverting to his own accent he said: Hi I am Gautam not Bob. I am an Indian student too so you need not tell me about the Kamasutra - I live by it (well a white lie but as she said this was all a fantasy!).

The girl laughed a beautiful cadence - This girl really had an amazingly sexy voice.

She said: Hi Gautam, I am Monica and am all excited to meet you...Now, if I may ask you, where abouts in India do you come from?

Gautam glanced at the watch. Goddamn this was costing him plenty and they had not even talked a bit of what he had paid for. But he liked this-actually this conversation was much more exciting than a few minutes of mechanized huffing and puffing that he would have hoped to get.

Baroda, he replied.

Hey Baroda - that's cool I am from Baroda too, her voice rose a level. They have found a common ground, a connection source. You must be one of those geniuses who go to US after their engineering. Gautam smiled self-contentedly.

Gautam then launched into a rant about how lonely he was. At least that would serve as a justification for dialing a sex chat line. The girl was more than understanding about Gautam's loneliness. So don't you have a girl friend there? Some hot blonde in US who can look after your needs?

Gautam sighed. Of course not, or why else would he be calling here?

Well no Monica. I prefer brown skin - fairness turns me off.

The musical voice cooed. So Gautam do you have any girl friend in India?

Gautam was feeling exceedingly honest. Somewhere subconsciously he was falling in lust with this goddess of love. And he needed to start this relationship by making a clean breast of things

No Monica I do not. There was a girl in my locality I used to love and lust.

Monica giggled: Tell me about her.

Gautam was breathing noticeably heavier now. Oh god he thought, this lady knew how to press the right buttons. He then launched into a lurid description of a girl who lived in the same housing society and whom he had spent countless nights thinking about and was soon lost in explicit details of her anatomical attributes. Gautam thought of how delectably perverted this conversation had become but what amazed him was how accepting and understanding this Indian girl was. It was another matter that he was doing All the hot talking, the girl was merely encouraging him to go on and in the end he would have to foot the bill. Which Gautam realized must be quite high now. But he was no longer thinking with his head.

Wow Gautam. Your dream girl seems to be right out of the Khajuraho temple so is she the only one?

Gautam was talking in an impassioned whisper by now. She had an even hotter elder sister I have often fantasized about both of them together

The girl giggled again: So what were their names? And tell me about the fantasies involving both of them? Shweta and Anila - Well there was this one time when... The girl's tone changed a bit: Shweta and Anila Gupta

Was this one of them? Gautam's head was now turning cartwheels. Could it really be that one of the two goddesses was actually a phone sex operator? And that he had been talking dirty to one of those unattainable fairies for so long? Gautam excitedly replied: Yes, yes, do you know them?

Suddenly the line became silent. Had he been disconnected or had the girl been so ashamed of being found out that she had disconnected? Oh no! please no! as he yelled...Hello! Hello! Are you there?

The voice had now undergone a metamorphosis. Bastard...she shouted...I know you... You are that pot bellied idiot who used to stay in No 24 and would try to peek into our house...Go tell your dirty ideas to your own sister you bastard...Shameless idiot..One more thought about the two of them, I shall gouge out your hungry eyes and feed them to the crows and twist your little thingie out and leave it among the green chillies to dry... You got that! Scumbag?

Your parents sent you to US to study and this is how you spend your time there - Shameless Monkey.

A click of the telephone disconnecting and another automated voice... Thank you for using 1-900-HOTTIES. Your credit card has been charged $98.78 including call time, tax and state surcharges. Thank you once again and we hope to do business with you in the future.

Ninety Nine Dollars - that was almost what he spent on a month's grocery. But cash was the last thing on Gautam's mind as he sat on the couch- His head in his hands. He had recognized the voice that had berated him in the end. It was Kokila Aunty, the mother of Shweta and Anila, roly-poly and the local gossip server who offered Pujas three times a day. Now how on earth could she be a sex-phone operator? Well evidently she was and Gautam had just spent $98.78 unloading his fantasies onto a lady pushing the wrong side of 50 and if that was not bad enough, his reputation in the housing colony was toast.

He knew very well that if ladies like Kokila Aunty wanted to take down a reputation she could do that effectively without getting herself scorched. He remembered the case of an uncle, an old bachelor who he found nice enough but who was whispered to be a gay pedophile. Now the rumor mill had a new goat on the block - Gautam the local pervert. How was he ever going to return? With his hands shaking he reached for his laptop. So much code still needed to be written. At least no one here in US knew of this, that was the only saving grace.

Dude.....Gautam looked up and his apartment mates were standing in the corridor. Ajay was doubled up on the ground laughing and Vikas was staring at Gautam his mouth agape.

And then it suddenly came to him. They had been to Wal-Mart’s that evening and bought an extension handset.

Suddenly everything went blank and he knew he had been taken for a ride

How to Be a Jerk and Succeed Wildly With Women

Have you ever seen a guy who acts like a jerk but still manages to go home with beautiful women?

Well these guys know a secret which you can learn a lot from.

What they know is that many women are attracted to men who successfully combine being a jerk with having a humorous personality.

Often called "negging" or "cocky-funny", the idea behind this attitude is to act slightly arrogant while displaying intelligence and funny traits. It works because you are letting women know that you are confident while humorous enough to be desired.

If done correctly, this an incredibly powerful technique that makes girl instantly attracted to you. Here is how you can be the "funny/jerk" that women want...

First you should always remember to balance the attitude of a jerk while remaining funny. By acting too arrogant, you'll end up repulsing women instead of attracting them. On the other hand, if you spend the whole time cracking jokes you'll end up looking like a clown. Your goal is to carefully combine both attitudes and create the perfect "funny/jerk" personality.

So how do you go about becoming a funny/jerk?

To become a funny/jerk, it's important to create a certain attitude during your entire conversation with a woman. Your goal is to never making her completely comfortable when you are talking to her. This means you should tease her behavior or comments, and make her work for YOUR attention.

It works like this:

Whenever she says anything to you or asks a question, you come back with a comment that is funny, while slightly mocking her.

For instance, if a girl asks your name, you tell her that you can't reveal it, out of fear of her stalking you.

What you want to do is constantly use humor to catch her off guard. Anything she says should be responded to in a funny, slightly arrogant manner. Furthermore, try to implement a bit of sexual innuendo into your comments.

To create a successful "funny/jerk" attitude, need to work on altering your behavior in conversations with women. You can do this by sitting down and thinking of everything that a woman will typically say during a conversation. Then work on creating witty responses to the standard topics that often come up. Your focus is to create different statements that will catch her off guard while putting you in a position of dominance. The best lines will be ones that are humorous and slightly negative.

These principle behind the "funny/jerk" works because you are creating value for yourself to women you encounter. By being a little arrogant, you are letting her know that you are confident in yourself and that she'll have to work to get your attention.

My final piece of advice is to practice, practice, practice!

Creating a "funny/jerk" attitude is all about knowing what to say in each situation. At first, it may seem to go against the common thought of being "the nice guy" towards women. So in order to implement this attitude, you need to practice with women as much as possible.

When I say practice with women, I mean you need to try to take advantage of every situation where you are talking to a girl. Even if you don't want to pick them up, it's important that you use interactions with women to practice your comments and learn how to judge their responses.

Simply by practicing at all times, you'll learn the fine art of being a "funny/jerk". As a result, you'll discover that your interactions with women will improve and you'll end up going home with more women.

About the Author
Scott Patterson is a master at meeting, approaching, and attracting women.
To find out how you can pick-up ANY woman in 7 simple steps, check out his free ecourse

Do's and Don'ts on a First Date

The first date is a critical moment in any relationship.

You want to put your best foot forward and make a good impression. In fact, you want that so bad that your jitters and nervousness can derail your attempts to impress that date. Never fear, though, because if you follow the advice in this article, you are bound to make the best impression possible. If the girl or guy doesn't want to date you again, it might just be that you really aren't suited for each other. If this is the case, there isn't any point in wanting it to continue anyway, right? So here are some do's and don'ts that should smooth the way.

Do plan an actual date, such as a movie, concert, or dinner. Have an entertaining evening all planned out instead of just getting together to see what happens. You can always go to plan B later if things are going good.

Do be clean, well groomed, and appropriately dressed for the event.

Do be on time. Tardiness shows a great lack of respect for that other person. Likewise, showing up an hour early because you just can't wait puts pressure on them because they are probably not ready.

Do be decisive about the restaurant or other places you will go, but remain flexible. If you chose a steakhouse, but didn't realize your date was into vegetarian fare, it would be a kind gesture to change the plans to visit a restaurant more suitable to her tastes. Generally speaking, however, someone needs to be willing to make the decisions. Nothing is a bigger waste of time than two people batting a restaurant choice around.

Do take a little time to think up some things to talk about if you are both naturally quiet people. Most people like to answer questions about themselves. Try not to just ask a list of yes or no questions though, as though you are interrogating them. Ask questions that require more of an answer. Ask about his or her hobbies, interests, and ideas.

Don't, however, openly argue with your date's ideas. If you can tell that you are worlds apart in philosophy or religion, it might me a good idea to just enjoy the entertainment and find someone else to ask out the next time.

Don't spend your date doing something self-centered. For instance, if you go to an arcade, let your date play the games, too. Don't sit and talk on the cell phone or do business while you're together either. Your date should have your undivided attention.

Don't make them feel ogled or watched, however. If you find them extremely desirable, try to restrain yourself. Don't put them on the defensive. Give them time to get to know you, and they might find you equally desirable.

Finally, don't give up before you have given yourself and your date a fair chance. Remember that he or she is nervous, too. Don't get impatient about either pushing the relationship or giving up on it. Give it a chance to grow on its own.

About the Author
For more personal growth articles visit: http://www.personalgrowthunlimited.com

Online Dating Services And Dating Guides

Online dating is incredibly popular with millions around the world.

In fact, online dating is now a easier, far less expensive alternative to the singles nightclub. Men and women, now find relationships online from the comfort of their home computer. If you are somewhat new to the online dating scene, there are so many dating guides available. There is also a Guide on Online Dating for some useful dating tips, advice, and other valuable information that will help you succeed in finding that special someone.

Now, there are plenty of such books in the market. A few very good ones are listed on the side, and more such guides that provide useful dating tips are available at the above drop-down menu.

Online dating and adult personals are also one of the most sought after areas to make money online. Just for the records - the personals and dating category held its position as one of the largest paid content category above business and investment content, with $400 million plus in revenues, with an average 20% increase every year. Studies show that dating revenue shot up as much as 75% last year alone, and is targeted to grow well beyond expectations. It's no wonder, that Online Dating services is one of the money making opportunities and most exciting business and personal opportunities flooding the internet today.

However, this is an area, I was always apprehensive about. Mainly, because of a personal experience. I had joined an adult dating site some time back, to give it a free trial and was busy chatting away through my messenger. Little did I realise, that my online friend on the other side remove her clothes as she claimed that it was rather hot out there. Now this is a common situation. Eventually, I did switch the machine off, although reluctantly ! Now this is not an example to not start dating online, nor quickly joining an adult personal site. The word adult is contrived in the english dictionary. I say so because, anyone between 18 to 99 is an adult. but why is that, that word triggers the thought of sex into one's mind ?

You have to come to terms with the fact, the enormous make fast money potential that the adult personals and internet dating market has. As a result online dating affiliate programs are also one of the most sought after ones. There are numerous, dating and personals sites out there and if I guess correctly, most of them are doing quite well. A few of the good ones are mentioned highlighted on the left. However, if you are new to the market, you can always give each one of them a free trial, before signing up as an affiliate. I am not specifically recommending any one, as EACH ONE is good in its own way - so I won't be doing any justice by singling out a particular one. The problem is there are hundreds of dating web sites out there on the Web.

The best solution, you can take advantage of the FREE trial for these different dating sites before joining their affiliate program You can also experience the fun of interacting with an online date. However, PLEASE also note that some of them contain some adult or soft porn material. The personals and dating affiliate program revenue potential has a high rate of return. In short, the opportunities available for anyone with a website are enormous.

Mentioned below are some good dating guides

No more Dull Dates
Are you tired of the same old dates? If you really want to spice things up and impress your date, then try out these 300 Creative Dates.

500 lovemaking tips
Lovemaking secrets and lovemaking tips that would drive your man or woman wild.

100 Great Sex Games for Couples
Has the closeness and intimacy faded ? Sex games, lovemaking, bedroom games and amazing foreplay tips

In plain language, it is exciting and fun content to capture the attention of visitors. So get ready to find a partner and also make money with Online Dating And Personals